there’s something about me that makes uncovering facts - discovering the truth - a lengthy two step process that i’m currently blaming for a lot of the negativity i’ve endured over the course of my youthful years. to be clear, this negativity reserves only a tiny slice of a life encompassing pie chart - but it has been enough to swallow me whole when i’m left alone in midnights and to my own overanalytics.
first (and this part happens quickly) i collect information the same as anyone ever would and use logic to acknowledge the situation/person’s truthfullness. but then - and usually painfully - i slowly navigate my way to a place of deep conviction, and it is only there that i find myself proactive in making healthy decisions. maybe that’s how it should be? an inconvenience or not, anything short of this process could be considered mere trickery and i don’t believe in magic.
so i’ve stopped convincing myself that i am happy, because i AM. anything, really. i just am and i’ve been convicted of that. i can be weak and breakable, but i still kick my legs from under the bedsheets every morning and wash the sleep from my face before work and now i’ve even got things of my own and things to be doing. and i really always have. so all my belly aching has been a product of the process and frankly, i feel a little foolish.
i’m okay with the fact that i have a dent in the middle of my forehead from an incident with an etch-a-sketch, that i’m painfully altruistic, that i spend chaotically, that my toes don’t ascend in size, that i’m audacious enough to believe that my life is so important that it need be announced on social networking sites, that i read too much, overanalyze too much, and probably talk too much. i’m okay with the fact that i boredom eat unhealthily, have trouble being graceful to poor conversationalists, that i like trendy clothes and untrendy music (country), that i’d bend over backward to make the people i hold close smile, that i’m nice (and therefor easily taken advantage of), and stubborn, AND blatant without caution. that i believe in and would die for peace like a total fucking hippy, that i like trees. i mean i really really like trees and everything they represent. i’m okay with the fact that my heart swells with joy over the slightest of things, that my head is up in the clouds 93% of the time, and that there are people out there who do not agree with or identify with these things. yep. i am. finally. yessuh.
1. this lifetime isn’t easy & so much of your joy will stem from the scope by which you view the world. 2. god would like you. 3. it’s okay to dream, but it’s lazy not to pursue. so pursue & do it with the same necessity by which you breath. 4. you and everyone around you has the profound ability to ignite any one or combination of emotions from a stranger or friend. happiness is amongst the best of those emotions. learn to be an enabler. 5. be graceful, but weary of those who may take advantage of you. do not feel guilty about helping other people recognize their faults and ask that they do the same for you. 6. apply common sense and common courtesy to your interactions. 7. never underestimate the cure of a good hug. 8. patience is the common denominator of every success story. 9. it is important to travel because it is the best and most direct way for you to engage with a certain level of inherent discomfort. familiarize yourself with things you don’t understand to avoid narrow-mindedness. 10. try to avoid speaking impulsively. be intentional. 11. remember that love doesn’t pose - it does without caution or concern. 12. likewise, sometimes love lays in wait. 13. wrestle with & do not supress your emotions. especially anger. 14. be curious, honest, actionable, lenient to mistakes, occassionally irresponsible & wreckless, and don’t tie your shoelaces too tight. 15. feel good in your own skin, as you are. and do not surpress yourself so that others won’t feel small around you (there’s a quote that words this better than me). 16. smile!